Friday, December 4, 2009

goodbye perfectionism

I have grand plans when it comes to the Advent calendar. I was just picturing my family making memories, enjoying each other, and serving others. It was picture perfect. Day 1 & 2 were a huge success so Day 3 was to follow in their footsteps. The 3rd day was to color a picture and mail it to someone you love. I found these cute, little wooden postcards at Michael's that the boys could paint so I snatched them up...for 50 cents a piece on top of that. Gotta love 50% off.

After school the boys ran to the calendar to see what the day had in store. Tristan read the paper and both of them got super excited. Tristan has to finish his homework immediately after school or it is meltdown after meltdown. So, he got to work on that and I let Tanner start his postcard.

Since his favorite color is blue he got to
painting the sky and ground blue.

Tip: if you have never used Q-tips for painting,
they are great! I always let the kids use these
when they are painting because it's almost like a little
crayon. Plus, having a brush for the 10,000
colors they want just ain't gonna happen.

As Tanner and I were busy at work, Tristan was lolly gagging (you've used those words before, right?). The homework buzz was wearing off and his little meltdown was starting. I tried to ignore the whining, begging, pleading but my patience was wearing thin. We talked, I explained, he pitched one.

Poor Tanner didn't have a clue to what was going on. He was just painting away, so proud of what he was doing. As he was finishing up, he decided to add some more blue (he would love a Smurf). I gently instructed him to not cover up the words because you wouldn't be able to read what the postcard said. That is when it happened. My perfectionism broke his heart. As he burst into tears, my heart left my body then and there. My sin had destroyed his masterpiece. My want to try and make everything perfect had ruined my perfect scene. My child's heart was beaten along with his sweet spirit. As I ran to him to embrace and hug him, my hurt and pain came roaring to the surface. I was in tears for hurting my child. I did this. As I apologized a thousand times, thinking he would remember this for the rest of his life, he simply wiped his tears and said "that's okay mommy". Oh, boy...I couldn't hold it in. He forgave me so easily. Without question...just like my Savior. I gave myself a minute to gather myself and we went right back to our perfect memory. Sometimes our idea of perfect isn't so perfect after all is said and done. There is only One perfect thing. God used this moment to show me just how damaging my sin can be. As much as I hate that I hurt my sweet boy, I am grateful for his forgiveness.
(yes, it was after school time and we were in our jammies)
Usually I would see imperfection in this but this
time, oh this time, is see utter perfection.
Nothing could be more brilliant.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

advent-day 2

Advent calendar day 2 was writing Santa a letter with your wish list. I almost dreaded this because I get nervous that they will ask for something so ridiculous or unattainable. Mom and dad are pretty safe this year....or so we thought.

What is up with Mr. Crazy Eyes?

"Tanner, where did you get all those stickers?"
"From my teaaaachers...I love dem."
"Your stickers?"
"Mommy...I loved my teaaaachers."

Tanner moved on to drawing Santa a picture.
Being a boy, he decided to draw a snowman peeing.
Classic sweetness. Only moms of boys will be rolling
their eyes right now instead of laughing.

Tanner's Dear Santa...
word for word. Never change a young child's words.

Writing our name. He's so proud! and I am too!!!!

This is serious business with Tristan.
He did not want to be photographed.

Oh, wait. Dad and I thought we were in the
clear this year. Is that a DSi and an iPhone
that you think you want?
Sorry sport...

After I told him Santa had a budget this year he
decided to add less expensive
things. Glad he's thinking of the old jolly guy!
Of course, I was not allowed to take another picture
of the finished product.

This might just be our last year
mailing off letters to Santa and the
kid would not even smile.
Oh how I hope he still believes.

Maybe, just maybe...a smile. But of
course we can't be caught dead
looking at the camera.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

stop...and listen

Two posts without a picture...what is wrong? I love a good post that has a cherry on top. A picture is always the cherry on top. It grabs my attention. Having ADD is not a good thing when it comes to reading.

This Christmas I am busy making lots and lots of things. I decided to go handmade or recycled. Not recycled as in regifting...I would never, ever! Well, maybe once. Twice. This new found burst of greatness has also brought a weight on my shoulders. Will I get it done? Will they like it? Will it come out the way I think it will? Then I realized....the people I'm giving gifts to are people I love. I know them. I care about them. I cherish them. Of course they'll like it, it's from the depths of my heart. I've been so worried about all these things I've gotten swept up in the commercial aspect of just giving a gift. This year though, I'm rethinking everything and giving not only a gift but my spirit of thanks. Thanks for letting me be part of their lives, thanks for a greater reason this holiday season than just Santa, thanks for sweet memories that last a lifetime. A gift of purpose. A gift I hope they will hold dear to them. Sometimes you have to stop and listen to the One who gives us everything to truly know what Christmas means.

I'm linking up to Kimba's DIY Day so check out all the creative gals over there!