Friday, December 4, 2009

goodbye perfectionism

I have grand plans when it comes to the Advent calendar. I was just picturing my family making memories, enjoying each other, and serving others. It was picture perfect. Day 1 & 2 were a huge success so Day 3 was to follow in their footsteps. The 3rd day was to color a picture and mail it to someone you love. I found these cute, little wooden postcards at Michael's that the boys could paint so I snatched them up...for 50 cents a piece on top of that. Gotta love 50% off.

After school the boys ran to the calendar to see what the day had in store. Tristan read the paper and both of them got super excited. Tristan has to finish his homework immediately after school or it is meltdown after meltdown. So, he got to work on that and I let Tanner start his postcard.

Since his favorite color is blue he got to
painting the sky and ground blue.

Tip: if you have never used Q-tips for painting,
they are great! I always let the kids use these
when they are painting because it's almost like a little
crayon. Plus, having a brush for the 10,000
colors they want just ain't gonna happen.

As Tanner and I were busy at work, Tristan was lolly gagging (you've used those words before, right?). The homework buzz was wearing off and his little meltdown was starting. I tried to ignore the whining, begging, pleading but my patience was wearing thin. We talked, I explained, he pitched one.

Poor Tanner didn't have a clue to what was going on. He was just painting away, so proud of what he was doing. As he was finishing up, he decided to add some more blue (he would love a Smurf). I gently instructed him to not cover up the words because you wouldn't be able to read what the postcard said. That is when it happened. My perfectionism broke his heart. As he burst into tears, my heart left my body then and there. My sin had destroyed his masterpiece. My want to try and make everything perfect had ruined my perfect scene. My child's heart was beaten along with his sweet spirit. As I ran to him to embrace and hug him, my hurt and pain came roaring to the surface. I was in tears for hurting my child. I did this. As I apologized a thousand times, thinking he would remember this for the rest of his life, he simply wiped his tears and said "that's okay mommy". Oh, boy...I couldn't hold it in. He forgave me so easily. Without question...just like my Savior. I gave myself a minute to gather myself and we went right back to our perfect memory. Sometimes our idea of perfect isn't so perfect after all is said and done. There is only One perfect thing. God used this moment to show me just how damaging my sin can be. As much as I hate that I hurt my sweet boy, I am grateful for his forgiveness.
(yes, it was after school time and we were in our jammies)
Usually I would see imperfection in this but this
time, oh this time, is see utter perfection.
Nothing could be more brilliant.

8 comments:

peace.love.applesauce said...

Oh.My.Goodness.. You are the sweetest Mommy, EVER!

a little bit vintage said...

So sweet! Yes, you are correct...Qtips make the greatest paint brushes! :) Oh, and thanks for the link to the pinwheels! Happy weekend!

Smiles,
Rachel

a little bit vintage said...

So sweet! Yes, you are correct...Qtips make the greatest paint brushes! :) Oh, and thanks for the link to the pinwheels! Happy weekend!

Smiles,
Rachel

beth said...

Okay...you made me cry!! I will have to remember this post when Meyers is older and my need for perfection wants to come to the surface:)

Shannon said...

Awww! What a sweetie! I've never thought about using Q-tips but that is a great idea!

Sonya @ Balentine Bliss said...

Such a preciuos, precious story! Aren't we all learning so much about our Saviour through our kids this week? Thanks for sharing! <3 you guys!

mimi said...

my dear, my dear - what a lesson for us all whether it be a child or an adult. the tongue is a mighty sword and we use it so loosely sometimes. it either conquers or divides!

what makes the difference is that you immediately confess the wrong you have caused!

mimi luvs you & learns from the lessons you teach to my tanner & tristan!

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