You mean I'm not perfect? Are you sure?

Dear Father,

You've recently brought to my attention that I may be falling short of my perfectionism. Why, at 30, are you just now bringing this up? Can't I keep pretending that I can juggle it all? That I can handle anything that is thrown at me? I'm guessing those things of the past have brought me to the place I am today. Worried, scared, anxious, let down but at the same time free, comforted, calm, and thankful. It was a rude awakening. I guess you thought that laying it on my heart would do me some good....and you are right. Your always right but I'm too stubborn to see it sometimes. For that, I'm sorry...really, really sorry.

I can't stop getting caught up in all the thoughts of what will people think or I could've done better. I'm not a perfect mother or wife or nearly as good a friend and heaven knows my house isn't always perfect. You've told me over and over that this is okay. You love me just the same. It's good to know that no matter what shortcomings I have you are there to tell me you love me unconditionally, without fail. How can you do this? I wish I had a sweet spirit to forgive and let live. You already know I'm working on this. I have found such freedom in the things I have laid down at the cross. It's so hard for me to realize that you'll carry it all. Don't you ever feel so burdened with all my problems, demands, and concerns? We both know I have a lot! Speaking of concerns, when will the little men in my life learn to put the seat down and flush? Wait, don't tell me if it's going to be a long time or never ever. I'm really get sick of seeing pee in a toliet (I won't even burden you with the smell). I'm afraid to ask for patience in this matter so I guess I will ask for guidance. Yes, that sounds much better than patience. We both know what happened last time I prayed for patience.

I need your help with a few things. Some of them I need alot of help with but I'm ready to start where ever you might lead me.
~ I haven't a clue how to really reach Tristan. Did you make him like me? I see so much of my stubborn self in him. He's always got to be right! Hmm, where oh where did he get that from?
~ Help me love myself again for who I am and not what I want to be. I know I've got to be easier on myself for not reaching those expectations of perfectionsim. I'm NOT PERFECT! I'm NOT PERFECT! IT'S OKAY, IT'S OKAY! It's liberating to say it out loud.
~ Show me that having it all is empty and things fade away. I have so many wants of material things. This is something I've struggled with since I can remember. Ok, let me get this off my chest real quick....I might, MIGHT, have a little problem with shopping. I am trying to get it under wraps or at least with a budget in mind. I can't help myself when it comes to all things southern..you know-the monograms, smocking, etc. I am giving this budget thing a try. I know, it's about time. You've been telling me this for years now and I know I haven't listened but to you I give. All I ask for is wisdom and maybe a bit of patience....geez, there I go again. I'm in for it...aren't I?
~ Give me strength to mend relationships that are broken and finally forgive. I know, I know...I'm one for saying I forgive but not meaning it. I tend to make those that hurt me pay dearly. I push and I push. Help me to find the words to say I'm sorry and mean it for not truly forgiving. To help and not judge. To love and not just like.
~ Teach me to slow down and hold on to what matters. You've really helped me say no. It's kinda nice not having a full plate all the time. Thanks for showing me that I matter and taking time for myself is much deserved.
~ Help me not be ashamed of all my skeletons, shortcomings, failures, and insecurities. You've forgiven me and that is all that matters.

With the deepest love and admiration,
a not so perfect gal

Do you have imperfections? I was recently told that "there is no healing in hiding". Take the chance to let all your wounds be healed and find forever freedom in letting it out. You'll be happier you did. There is always Someone there to wipe those tears, heal a broken heart, and be your FOREVER FRIEND.